The Russian Fairy Tale Security Bureau
An elite team of Russian security forces defend the population from fairy tale incursions.
Screenplay by Alan Nafzger
For most people, the story of their lives is just that: the accumulation of time, encounters, and actions into a cohesive whole. But for an unfortunate few, that day-to-day existence is affected (perhaps infected is a better word) by fairy tales incursion, where the Russian fairy tale narratives work their way into reality, often with disastrous results.
That’s where the Russia’s FTSB steps in, an organization tasked with protecting Russia from fairy tales, even while most of their agents are struggling to keep their own fantastic archetypes from taking over their lives, the agency is relatively effective. When you’re dealing with storybook narratives in the real world, it doesn’t matter if you’re Vasilissa the Beautiful, The Frog Princess, or the Armless Maiden; no one gets a happily ever after.
The film is urban fantasy where everything you thought you knew about fairy tales gets turned on its head.
When the following Russian fairy tales begin to manifest themselves in the real world, the agents of the FTSB spring into action.
- The Death of Koschei the Immortal
- Vasilissa the Beautiful
- Vasilisa The Priest’s Daughter
- Father Frost
- Sister Alenushka, Brother Ivanushka
- The Frog Princess
- Vasilii the Unlucky
- The White Duck
- The Princess Who Never Smiled
- The Wicked Sisters
- The Secret Ball
- The Magic Swan Geese
- The Feather of Finist the Falcon
- Tsarevitch Ivan, the Fire Bird and the Gray Wolf
- The Sea King and Vasilisa the Wise
- The Bold Knight, the Apples of Youth, and the Water of Life
- Go I Know Not Whither and Fetch I Know Not What
- The Golden Slipper
- The Firebird and Princess Vasilisa
- The Wise Little Girl
- The Armless Maiden
- The Giant Turnip
FAIRY TALE SECURITY AGENT (NARRATION)
“All the fairy tales are true. Oh, the specific events that the Alexander Afanasyev chronicled and that many have animated may only have happened once, in some Russia so old that people have forgotten whether or not it ever really existed, but the essential elements of the stories are true, and those elements are what keep repeating over and over again. We can’t stop them, and we can’t get rid of them. The Russian government is sure they serve some purpose—very little happens without a reason—but it’s hard to focus on that when you’re facing a Giant Turnip incident in Moscow, or The Twelve Dancing Princesses in Saint Petersburg.
“People mostly dismiss the manifestations, writing them off as publicity stunts or crazy pranks. It’s better that way. Not many people have the kind of iron-clad sanity that can survive suddenly discovering that if a fairy tail appears in your life, you’re inevitably going to wind up poisoned and left for dead…or that rescue isn’t guaranteed, since once you go “FT”, the only government agency that is going to help is the FTSB. You will be glad to see us, if that happens.
“Some folks say using the FTSB dehumanizes our subjects, and I will admit that is does make it easier to treat them like fictional creatures to be dealt with and disposed of. Then again, most of them have never put in any real hours in the field.
“Most of the subjects we deal with are innocents, people who wound up in the wrong place at the wrong time and got warped to fit into the most convenient fairy tale. Others are born to live out their stories, no matter how much damage that does to the world around them. It’s not a choice for them. It’s a compulsion, something that drives them all the way to their graves.
“That’s the second, and most important, thing you need to know about fairy tales: once a story starts, it won’t stop on its own. There’s too much narrative weight behind a moving story, and it wants to happen too badly. It won’t stop, unless somebody stops it.
“I work for the FTSB and we stop fairy tales.
RUSSIAN FAIRY TALES LINKS
RUSSIAN FAIRY TALES PHOTOS
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